.
#i’m like. so tired of myself #everything i do is useless and worthless #i’m so annoyed that i have to do anything at all #i’m ruining myself and everyone around me #i’m making teddy hate me #i cant stop crying and i wish i could #i sound so pathetic and manipulative but i’m just #hurting. i have BEEN hurting #i want it to stop #i want something to live for and look forward to but #the future litetally looks like a black hole #i’m never escaping here #i’ll always be me and i’ll always have to deal with the choices i’ve made #i don’t deserve forgiveness for what i did #or what i am about to do #i just want to be happy again and make everyone laugh #but i can barely show my face #when i die it will be a fucking miracle #i want to drink until i’m not a person anymore #i want to be better i can’t say i’m trying but #i want to get fucked up #i hope i fucking die
